Short Stories
A Tribute To Clyde Montgomery
Many people know the names Louis Armstrong, Charlie Parker, and Miles Davis; few, however, know of Clyde Montgomery. He never soared to popularity as did his musical peers; he played in smaller clubs, earning just enough money to get him from town to town. He played for love, to love, and with love. When his lips touched a trumpet, his soul was the breath that made music come out of it. Clyde was not your typical trumpet player; as he had his own style. Many tried to duplicate it; in fact, those who did so successfully went on to be great. These duplicates may have forgotten where they learned to play like this; however, I never did.
I’m Jack White, retired entertainment reporter for the Kansas City Star. I was the inconspicuous white guy that stood underneath the cloud in the smoky rooms. In the corner I sat, writing columns about such timeless cats like Louis Armstrong, Charlie Parker, Miles Davis, and Clyde Montgomery. I was young guy then, just breaking into journalism. My articles were small and so was the pay, though I loved the work. I would frequent the most hopping clubs, listen to various jazz and blues musicians play. After a while I felt more a friend than a critic to these musicians. As readership grew, my column would popularize previously unoccupied clubs. As years went on, my column would eventually help to change the color of those who went to see these musicians. I would eventually get to know these musicians and be invited to after hour impromptu jam sessions, or poker games (that would many times turn into battles between various horn players). Those were the days when musicians had to know how to actually play an instrument. There were no sound checks; if your band could fit on the stage, the sound was checked by the expressions of the people when you started playing. There were no roadies, and nobody to tune the instruments before the musicians would take the stage. My gripe with modern music aside, let me tell you about Clyde Montgomery and how I became a friend to one of the greatest musicians of the twentieth century.
I first saw Clyde in the Jazz Kitchen, a small Cajun restaurant that sat about 42 people but had standing room for a hundred. To say the place was not very well lit is an understatement. It had small tables that sat two people, though many more often crammed in. Each table was adorned with a red cloth and small candle, depending on which band was playing that particular night. When the big swing bands played, there weren’t any candles; the owners were afraid the dancers would knock the tables over and burn the place down. There was a giant mirror behind the bar, and a variety of alcohols to choose from, placed neatly on shelves on either side of the mirror. The bar itself was made from old oak stained from years of cigarette ashes and beer stains. Back then one didn’t notice how horrible it really looked; today we call it ‘aged’. If you ordered food, it was from a hand written menu. Sometimes waiters would hand them out to you, other times there would be a list of what was available on the blackboard on the way into the restaurant. None of the silverware matched. There was no cover charge, and often the place reminded me of a Sunday Baptist service. Sometimes during performances people were compelled to stand up, clap their hands, or dance on the tables while the musicians played. During a slow, bluesy number, people would cry out, “Alright”, or “You play it Brother.” I wanted to just shout, ‘Amen.’ These were my churches; the kinds of places that I would go to have my spirit revived.
Clyde was very young, about twenty-two, when I first saw him play. He was sitting in the back of the club drinking a tonic and ice listening to the other performers before he went on. He was in a second hand plaid suit, and wore an old hat that cast a shadow over his eyes. The hat was creased and slightly worn where his hands would lift it to take it off and put it back on. I didn’t think much of him when he first took to the stage; that is, until the third or fourth note. I’d never heard anything that spoke to the soul like what I went on to hear that night. It was as if a light from heaven came down to shine on him and he was using the tool that God gave him to play the songs of angels. There were pitches and notes that made it seem as if trumpet itself was crying with joy to be able to play. He played for a long set, well into the night. Clyde did not say much; the music was his voice. His body movements were reserved to simple gestures. His face strained with the effort he put into his playing; with his eyes tightly shut and cheeks stretched out as far as they could be with reserve air for his longer notes. When he was finished with his set he bowed walked to the bar finished off another tonic and ice, collected his money, and disappeared into the night. I was in too much shock to get up and follow him for an interview. By the time I figured out that the music I had just heard was real, my only interview was with the bartender, trying to figure out how to get a hold of this new musician.
“Hey Mack, what can I get you?”
“I don’t need a drink as much as some information,” I replied.
“Sure, whatever you need,” he said, as he must have noticed the twenty-dollar bill that I had just taken out of my pocket and was about to place on the bar.
“I need to know all that you know about the Cat that just played.”
“Oh, Clyde is his name. He rolls into town every so often and plays a couple of nights and well, he’s gone again.”
“Do you know where he stays at,” I must have asked excitedly since I was feeling out of breath.
“Yeah Mack, usually not too far from here at the Blue Moon hotel. I am sorry, that’s all that I know. Did you want a drink?”
“No, but I thank you for all of the information.”
I left the twenty dollars and headed out of the joint. I went the next day to the Blue Moon hotel and got my first of many interviews with Clyde.
He was soft spoken and restrained, nothing like his trumpet playing. He would answer a question about his life truthfully, but would not offer up too much more than what you actually asked for. Even after I had interviewed him several times and gained his trust enough to where we could call each other friends, he was the same way.
For some years he would travel around the neighboring states and play his music. He would usually send me a telegraph and let me know when he was going to be in town again. Once in a while he would take me up on my invitation and crash at my place while he was in town. Those times that he didn’t I would at least go see him play and we would treat each other to dinner. He would catch me up on his adventures and I would catch him up on the local jazz scene and the new musicians coming around.
On a very cold and moonless October night was the event that turned out to be the last time that I would see my friend again. It was a Saturday at the C Note the club Vinny Carmichael. I never did find out whether the name of the club referred to his last name, a musical reference, or money. Knowing Vinny and what he was about, it was the latter. Vinny was known by everybody for being the local mob boss, but it was never proven in a court of law. Supposedly the C Note was Vinny’s legitimate business. Vinny was running numbers on the side and had other businesses taking place in the back of the club. He had an office that was in the back but above the store room with a small staircase leading up to it. Vinny was the best dressed club owner that I had ever laid eyes on. He always wore a pinstripe, three piece suits with patent leather shoes and a black hat; and when he walked out of the club, he always wore a full length raincoat. Vinny called himself a jazz “aficionado” since he had so many of the great jazz musicians of the time play at his exclusive club. I am sure the other club owners were offered ‘protection’ for not having the great jazz players play their clubs and play the C note instead.
I was one of the few reporters to be allowed into the C Note. I wasn’t really considered a reporter since I was an entertainment reporter. Vinny did not feel that I was a threat to his business or would even pay attention to the illegal things going on around me. He was right, especially the nights that Clyde played. It was not that I had a free ride while I was in the club, Vinny always had one of his guys sit uncomfortably close at a table next to mine where he would make sure that I was taking notes on the musicians and not anything else. On the outside of the joint was a long canvas covered red carpet leading to a thick oak door with a slider so that one of Vinny’s henchman could see you to determine if you should get in or not. Once you got in you would take a couple of steps down into a large ballroom filled with tables and people. The stage was a couple of steps up from the main floor area. There was about twenty feet from the bottom step of the stage to the tables where people could dance. On both sides of the upper area of the room were two bars that went the whole length of the room. There were several well-dressed waiters and waitresses who served drinks and appetizers throughout the evening. Other than several lights focusing predominately on the stage area, the club was dark. You could see the smoke from cigarettes and cigars in the room as it raised in front of the lights. The C Note was packed that night since it was the last scheduled performance for Clyde for a while in Kansas City and the surrounding area. I had a chance to briefly talk with him before the gig. He was over by the bar, on the right hand side of the stage, as you were looking from the entrance. For a second, seeing Clyde as I walked up to him reminded me of the first time I saw him.
“Clyde, where are you going from here?” I asked
“I don’t know. I will probably take a break for a while,” he said. “I need to go have some more experiences in life, try new things, and get new material.”
Clyde excused himself and he went to the corner of the room by the bar, got a tonic and ice and rolled his fingers around the trumpet warming them up. Just then the conversation from behind me of two of Vinny’s stooges caught my ear.
“It’s his last night,” said the big guy on the left.
“Yeah,” replied the even bigger guy on the right wearing the pinstripe suit.
“Is the boss going to pay him?” the first guy said.
“Come on Louie, you know how Vinny is. He is going to give him half the money and persuade him that he needs to stay for another week or so to get the balance.”
While both of the men laughed, I quickly walked over to Clyde, almost knocking into him and spilling his drink.
“Clyde you are not going to believe what I just heard. Vinny is not planning on paying you tonight. He is going to hold back some of your money to encourage you to work another week.” I went on to explain to him how I had overheard the two guys and pointed out the henchmen.
“Thanks Jack, I appreciate all of the information. I had a feeling the bad Cat would try something like this to me. If you don’t mind I do need one favor from you.”
After all of these years of knowing Clyde he had never asked for anything from me until that moment.
“Sure Clyde, anything you need.”
“I need you to go to the county jail tomorrow morning about 8:00. I think you know the one just on the outskirts of the city on E. 13 and Main. Don’t ask any questions, just be there.”
I nodded my head yes, but I am sure I had a confused look on my face.
With that Clyde walked between the tables toward the stage. He played nonstop for hours. Every note was perfect, and some even better than before. I had never heard him play so well. When he was done he walked off the stage to a standing ovation. I don’t think that very many people were not standing already, but those that were not stood up. Clyde walked right by me with a cocked smile, dipped his head and said, “8:00, don’t be late.”
I followed a couple of steps behind him trying to figure out if what he was doing or where he was going. I thought that this would answer the question of why I needed to go to the county jail at 8:00. Clyde headed to the back stairs that led to Vinny’s office. The two henchmen that I pointed out earlier were standing at the bottom of the stairs.
“What do you want?” asked the big guy on the right.
“I’m done playing. I want to go talk to Vinny and get my money,” said Clyde calmly. I could not see Clyde’s face but I could tell the hint of sarcasm in his voice.
The big henchmen moved aside allowing Clyde to go upstairs. I kept checking my watch to see how long he was in the room with Vinny. At one point I had to wipe off the sweat that had dripped from my forehead on to my watch. It seemed like an hour, but really it was about thirty minutes later that Clyde emerged from Vinnys office and calmly but quickly walked down the stairs tucking a handful of money into his coat pocket. Clyde walked right by the two henchmen and proceeded to walk out the front door. Unlike the first time that I had met him, I quickly headed out after him staying just a few steps away. When I got outside it was just in time to see Clyde getting into a cab and heading off. By the time I was able to hail another cab, Clyde’s cab was no longer in sight. I headed back to my apartment and went to bed. I tried to sleep but only tossed and turned, constantly checking the clock for the time that I needed to get up.
Finally, 7:30 came around. I jumped out of bed and threw on some clothes. I couldn’t think about breakfast so I brushed my teeth, combed my hair, grabbed my jacket and keys and left. The police station was not very far from my house, but my mind raced anxiously for the short time that it took to get there.
I walked up the short flight of steps to the police station and stepped in the door. Behind the counter was an officer.
“Can I help you,” he asked?
“Yes, I am Jack White and I am here to meet somebody.”
“Oh yeah, I was expecting you. Hey Henry, go get cell #7,” he called over to the other officer by the door to the cells.
A few moments later Clyde emerged with the officer. He was not in handcuffs or even being escorted by the arm. He walked out placing his hat on his head and still wearing the suit he had on the night before with his trumpet case in his hand. I was relieved to see that it was him and he was o.k., but I was even more confused than before.
“Take care Clyde. Thanks for the tunes last night,” the officer said, as Clyde moved closer to me.
“Sure thing, thanks for the bed last night,” Clyde replied, looking back.
“Thanks for coming Jack. I was wondering if you could give me a ride to the next town,” Clyde said, as we were shaking hands in greeting.
“Sure, but I. . ,” I said.
“Don’t worry,” Clyde interrupted, “I will explain it all on the way.”
As we headed out of the parking lot Clyde asked, “Oh yeah, and if it is not too much to ask, please do not drive by the C-Note.”
That was no problem since it was out of the way but I didn’t tell him that. I was too anxious to find out what was going on to talk about trivial things with Clyde.
“Alright, I know as a journalist you are dying to find out the story,” Clyde said. “I will begin with what happened in the room with Vinny.”
Clyde went on to tell me how after I tipped him off that he wasn’t planning on spending another week there so he tried to collect his money. As he continued, he mentioned how Vinny was trying to persuade him to stay. Clyde explained how he’d felt nervous but how he needed his money so that he could continue to the next town. Clyde noticed a large amount of money that Vinny was sorting, by highest to lowest denomination, on the table. Upon glancing around the room, Clyde told me he saw a gun but it was on the table behind Vinny who was sitting in front of where Clyde was standing. He thought about sticking Vinny up grabbing the money and taking off. Clyde knew that he didn’t think that he could shoot someone anyway so a gun was worthless to him. Clyde tried to look calm and walked over to the window, but it was two stories up with no fire escape ladder so he wasn’t about to jump out. I had to laugh when he explained to me that even with broken legs he could still play the trumpet. Clyde told me it was when Vinny turned his chair around to get another cigar out of the box that he noticed the paper weight on the desk in front of him. Clyde grabbed the paper weight that Vinny had on his desk and struck Vinny in the head with it. Knocking Vinny out, Clyde was able to grab the money that he was owed and head out the door. Because there was no yelling from the boss Vinny’s goons must have thought that Clyde had been persuaded to stay on for the week. There was no need to stop him since nothing seemed wrong and he would be back the next day. That was the point in which I saw him coming out of the office door and down the stairs.
“Well I took the money, and I want to add it was only what was owed to me, not a penny more, not a penny less. I knew that when Vinny woke up he wasn’t going to be very happy and since the police on Vinnys beat are paid for by Vinny, I didn’t want to stay in the hotel across the street. I couldn’t stay with you and put you in danger or ruin your career in this town. The only safe place that I could think of that would be the county police station. I don’t know if you have ever been in one but it is free, quiet, somewhat comfortable, and most importantly . . . safe. I just explained to the guards why I choose to stay with them for the night. They told me that I was right about quiet, somewhat comfortable and safe, but not necessarily about free. They asked me to play a couple of songs in exchange for the accommodations.”
After we both stopped laughing I realized that we were well into the next town and heading into the direction of the downtown/ main street area.
“Where do you want me to drop you off, where are you going?” I asked.
“If you know where there is a local bus station, go ahead and drop me there,” he replied.
“Yeah, just up here I believe there is one.”
We proceeded about two more blocks and I followed a Greyhound Bus a couple more blocks up First Street to the station.
It was hard to say goodbye to Clyde that day. Again I asked if he knew where he was going or what he was going to do next.
“I will go west, like a cowboy heading into the sunset,” he answered.
“Are you coming back again?”
“I don’t know, but I will look you up if I do,” he answered.
I never saw Clyde again after that day. I will never forget his unique sound and I wrote many articles in the next couple of years trying to describe his style, trying to explain to the next generation of jazz musicians about that sound. I still hear him once in a while, sometimes like he is down an alley way sitting, playing in a hotel window, sometimes when I sit with a glass of scotch and a cigar listening to some of the classic jazz lps that I have. I miss Clyde, not only his music, but his friendship. Besides he was the only story that I won any awards for the story about the events leading up to the last night that I spent with him.
I did however receive a peculiar postcard from Los Angeles about two years later. The postcard had a picture of the Santa Monica Pier on the front and the back of the postcard read:
The weather is great; you should come see the sidewalk entertainment this place has to offer. Most importantly I have had no need to see the inside of a jail. I read your article. Congratulations on your prize. You have done a lot for jazz and jazz musicians. Thanks for being one cool Cat.
It wasn’t long after receiving that postcard that West Coast Style jazz was becoming popular. There was one person in particular that was all the rave; even as far east as Kansas. His name was Fatts Burton. I never made it out to the west coast to interview Fatts or see my old friend Clyde. I do wonder if the two ever met, Fatts had quite a unique style of playing to him. When I listen to Fatts albums I hear him hitting notes that I have only heard one other time before.
As for me I did write one legitimate article that even made the front page. I wrote an article from an insider’s perspective of the C Note and about some of the things that went on there. My article corresponded with the other article on the front page about Vinny Carmichael getting arrested for serving alcohol during prohibition and for tax evasion. I only hope that Clyde had a chance to read it.
Fun in Funeral
Frank Leonard Tucker Funeral 2:00 12/12/19 Please join family and friends for food and refreshments following the service
‘That sounds like a good one, hopefully better food than the last guy. Oh crap what did I get myself into? I know, I’ll take a seat toward the back behind those two guys and try to fit in.’
“Hey Charlie, how ya doin’?”
“Better than ol’ Frankie; right?”
“Yeah Charlie he was performing just last week with us and said after that he felt a little tired.”
“Is that so?”
“The guys and I told him we were going to hit a local watering hole and that we would catch him later. Little did we know that night would be his last bow before the crowd.”
“I heard he had joined Ringling and was touring.”
“I’ll tell ya Charlie, after he left Circus Vargas I thought he was done clowning forever, but he came by the show while we were in his town and made him an offer he couldn’t refuse. Besides I think that he was tired of being home and the boredom that was offering.”
“Boy Diego, Frank would’ve loved to see all the fellas here today. There is Bobby and Harry from Cirque and Larry from Vargas. I even think I see the twins Sheila and Christina from Circus Circus. I wonder how long it’s been since he has seen the twins?”
“Man Charlie I have to admit those twins don’t look a day over 30. They can fill out a clown suit like no other. The only way that I can tell them apart is that Shelia wears the yellow and brown striped neck tie and Christina wears the yellow and green. Diego, how did you know that Bobby and Harry are with Cirque now?”
“The sequence, you know how the Cirque group is. You can’t have the red hair, squishy nose and hobo outfit. They are too good for that. You have to be refined, walk like you have grace, and fake an accent and some made up French words. Not to mention sequence, somewhere that catches the light just right but not too flashy.” Diego continued, “So true. And Bobby is still obviously with Vargas since they have such a tight budget that he has to be wearing the same outfit for the past decade or so. They should call it Circus Tight Asses.”
‘Suddenly the conversation turned toward me. I knew that they were both looking out of the corner of their eyes at me during their conversation and that it was just a matter of time before they said something.’
“Hey fella, I am Charlie, this is Diego; what’s your name?”
“Hi guys I am Richard, but most people call me Dick.”
“Well Dick it is a pleasure to meet ya. Diego and I can’t help but notice that you aren’t. . .well you know. . exactly one of us; are ya?”
“You obviously mean a clown, correct?” I answered trying to be polite without being sarcastic.
“Yeah or are you a member of the Brotherhood of the Red Nose and not in your show formals?” Diego asked.
“No, I am not in the Brotherhood, sorry.” The look on their face was disappointment but not really any kind of surprise. I knew what was coming next.
“So how did you know Frankie? Yous a relative?”
“Charlie was it?” Charlie nods yes, I answer, “No not a relative.”
Diego jumps in, “So you must be a neighbor?”
“Yeah something like that.”
“You came a long way to see him off. Did you fly or drive? Man if you flew boy your arms must be tired!” No sooner did Charlie lay down the punchline him and Diego started laughing hysterically.
“Ha ha, arms tired. That’s a good one. Sort of a classic like Frank.”
“Whoa fella, did you just call him Frank? Why so serious bub? What do you think this is a funeral?” With that Charlie and Diego busted out laughing again.
The Babinski Reflex
I have to say it went awesome and my super sperm got her pregnant on the first try after she went off birth control; well, that’s how I see it anyway. Her being my wife and all. It was all going to come back to me now. The child development class and all that it entailed was going to be absolutely useful in a practical application. As I think about what I learned the only thing that was coming to mind was the Babinski Reflex.
During my almost decade in junior college, I took quite an array of classes. I attempted so many classes that even the Dean (whose name I did not know) thought that I should be on his list; a list that took me awhile to get off of. It is not that I did not enjoy school, it was simply that my parents were divorced and out of the state. I was working forty hours a week and worrying about living on my own and survival, not so much about the priority that I should have been focusing on.
It is interesting to look back and think about all of the classes someone takes versus the amount of information that they absorb and/or apply. Of all of my Junior College subjects, Psychology was one of the classes that I took that I really connected with. Maybe it was the ideas that I learned, that I could later call my divorced parents up and discuss how dysfunctional our family really was and what lead to the demise of their relationship. The first Psychology class was a basic Psychology class. This in essence was about why we think the way we do.
This inspired me to attempt another one; Applied Psychology. I did extremely well in this class; however, I would have to add that there is no way they should call this a college level course; it would have been a lot more helpful in high school. In this psych class you basically find yourself and figure out what you should be when you grow up. I remember it said that I should be a teacher, which was a very interesting idea, and on the other end of the spectrum a trash man. Actually I don’t think that trash man was really how it was mentioned on the list, something more like sanitation worker. They gave me a large print out of a list of ideas based on my personality and how I answered the questions, would make me best suited for each job. I believe that sanitation services came up because one of the questions I answered was that I like the idea of working outside and not necessarily being behind a desk all day. That was a great thought at 17, however at 47 it would be a phenomenal idea to be in a comfortable climate controlled office with all the various beverages you could drink for free, and get paid for vacation and sick days.
The third Psychology class that I took was Child Psychology. I thought with a name like this it would have to be easy. Please, I like kids, besides this class could be a great way to meet women. If I took the Women Studies class it would be a great way to meet women, however something told me that they might be very angry about men as a whole and how the male dominated society has tried to bring them down. I would agree but I didn’t think I would be seeing a lot of dates out of that. So Child Psychology, I walked in on my first day, sat in the back (you know where the Dean’s list students normally sit) and watched as all of the women came in. There was another guy in the class that I had to immediately acknowledge, simply because I think that he was there for the same reasons I was. If I was to guess it about 20 + women walked through the door and the one other guy besides me. Please note that I use the word women, because it was a night course and it was exactly that; women. You know there were some college fresh out of high school women there, but that was nothing compared to the soccer and hockey moms, that also work professional jobs all day and are taking night courses, to what I thought was get away from their family, but it turns out they want to further their career. You can see that on my first day I was wrong about so many things and the subject matter of the class and how easy the subject would be should also be included in that idea.
This class was similar to my History class where it studies a time period you know such as U.S. History Revolutionary War to Civil War, or WWI to Vietnam. This was something like that, but it was birth until about 3 years of age. It might have been a little bit more but there is a lot that happens in that time in a child’s development. Seriously we focused a lot on the first nine months of development and that all takes place inside mom. We watched movies and discussed what is going on when the peanut turns into a tadpole, and eventually an alien and finally into some recognizable human (once the tail is gone). Then we got to the movie about the actual birth, you know the Miracle of Life. We watched as the miracle of a human watermelon comes out of a hole the size of a human toaster. This little person is covered with all sorts of fluids and is followed by the little apartment that was housing it inside the mother. Then you get to see the crazy attached cord that was the life line to the mother (like a beautiful parasite hosting on the host). You learn that this whole experience is painful, but women are equipped with receptors that help them handle it; the male species is not. I and the other guy in the class quickly learned that we are allowed to be in the class, but strongly encouraged to not say anything. Really not have any opinion whatsoever on the subject. Frankly all of the women in the class that had children looked at the two of us as if we were the cause of the pain of child birth. Yes, as a male we collectively were to blame, but not as individuals. Ultimately we got through the section on pain and who caused it, I mean birth and the miracle that it is, and worked into the various test that they do on children during their developmental stages. I would really like to tell you that I can remember any and all of them, because they were absolutely fascinating, however it really comes down to the only one I remember; which is the Babinski Reflex. This is the reflex that they rub something on a child’s foot from top to bottom, right when they are born and the toes curl. I don’t know why I remember that one in particular. I probably did a word association with baboon reflex and it stuck; though I am sure that Babinski is the name of the person that figured out the reflex and not the scientific name for baboon. The rest of the semester was really interesting, but it was not so much learning as I would call it surviving.
The nine months (ten if you ask my wife) leading up to our child’s birth went very quickly I feel. The day our daughter was born was April 13, 2010. The night before I got off work a little early when the call from my wife came that she was having contractions. I am happy that we took the Lamaze classes and the Daddy boot camp but I had faith my Child Development class would reemerge. I know what contractions are and what is happening inside. I hurried home and packed a few things that I might need for the next day or so. My wife told me to relax and take a shower, that we did have some time. It dawned on me in the shower that I never learned how to change a diaper. My wife laughed and told me not to worry, there will be plenty of practice in that department.
We checked into the hospital like we were checking into a hotel. You know lobby, receptionist, and we had clothes packed. Eventually we were checked into a nice room overlooking the front parking lot. It was late and the kind nurses did whatever they could to make my wife comfortable for the night. I had a mediocre at best cushion in the window. As I contemplated complaining about that I think about the pain she is about to go through and my Child Psychology survival instinct kicks in to shut up. I opt not to mention that I am not comfortable right then. It was a rough night for both of us. I woke up every time the nurses came to check on my wife and do whatever they were doing. My sister came that night and slept in the room in a chair that folded out into something like a bed. It was almost like something that Motel 6 would tell you is in a room that sleeps 3 yet there is only one bed.
The next morning with no sign of the appearance of my child, I was hungry so my sister and I went to the cafeteria. There we casually dined on exquisite muffins and fresh fruit, with sides of yogurt and orange juice. After our feast for royalty, and 90-year-old diabetics, I made a quick stop at the restroom before heading back to the room. Neither of us heard me being paged for the last 10 minutes, so you could imagine the shock that I was in for when I walked into the room and it looked like it was something out of the Transformer collection. This light was coming down from the ceiling that wasn’t there before. The bed my wife was on now looked like some kind of medieval torture device that was holding her in restraint. The nurses were in and covered in different gear then they had been all night. I somehow missed the alarm that the Russians were bombing us.
Then there was the moment when the doctor arrived. In walks the doctor on duty that is going to deliver our baby. It doesn’t matter that we have no idea who this is. It doesn’t matter that we now have a male doctor when we have had a female doctor this whole pregnancy. Nothing matters except for the fact that Darth Vader enters the room. All I could see were his surgical gowns, shield, face mask, and gloves. I don’t know if he is going to catch our baby or the final inning of a major league baseball game.
Before all of this, in the late stages of the pregnancy my wife had a talk with me about not looking down there while our daughter is being born. She mentioned that guys do not look at that area as a sexual area the same after they have seen a child come out. This is where my Child Development class training kicks in. I told her that I have seen how this works and not to stress about it. I will definitely not look. Those are famous last words when the bed has my wife scrunched together like she is an accordion being played. I really did try my best to not look, however that is very difficult when your peripheral vision sees your wife making agonizing faces in one eye and the other sees the crowning of your child that is about to enter the world.
In what seems like a flash there she was in all of her greyish beauty. Then the doctor hands me some fancy non-dangerous scissors to cut the cord, the life line that has kept my daughter alive this whole time, the connection that happens between a child and the mother and can never be replicated by the father. I took those play-dough scissors and severed that lifeline, but only in the place they said it was okay too.
Immediately they took my daughter over to this bed so they could clean her up, take footprints, and run all of the test that they need to making sure she is healthy. Like all great husbands I completely forgot about my wife and her condition, and followed the shiny new toy over to where they were taking her. Again I was ready for my Child Development class information to kick in. I want to see the Babinski reflex performed on a real person, and not only a real person but my own person that I helped create. I was so caught up in the performance that this trio of nurses were doing in unison, without any music, yet as if they were performing a ballet on my daughter, that I forgot to watch all the test being done. I was fascinated when one of the nurses that was taking my daughter’s footprints took the underside of my forearm and made a footprint on it. It was unreal how huge the impression of this tiny foot made on my heart.
I never did test the Babinski reflex on my child. Not any of the days we were hanging out together in the hospital nor once we got her home. For me it is the stuff of movies or something you read in a book. Maybe one day I will have a grandchild and try it out.